Wow, I've had a tough day

I woke up today like it was any other day. I went upstairs, got ready for my day, did some homework, and then I went out to my car to go to class. Something was wrong though. I moved to unlock my passenger's side door, to put my stuff in, and realized that there was no "click". Immediately, my heart started beating. I opened the door, and everything that had been on the passenger's floor, was on the passenger's seat. Everything, that is, except for my dear Cannon EOS Rebel SLR camera. I looked through my car, and it wasn't anywhere. Not only was the camera gone, but the whole bag, with all of my rolls of film, including two undeveloped, my round d6s, a notebook, and my lens cleaner...just...gone. I started panicking. Someone had not only gotten into my car, but they had stolen from me. I decide(perhaps irrationally) that I need to calm down. I decide to try to drive to school. I didn't make it, I was panicking to hard. I drive back to Tom's house, and look down. My GPS charger, which I always have plugged into the Cigarette holder, was unplugged. I panicked, and opened the center console, and sure enough...my GPS was gone too. I find the GPS charger, sitting on the passenger's seat, but the GPS was taken out of it's custom sleeve. I get to Tom's house, and I check throughout my whole car for anything else that was missing. Everything was still there, though all the bags in my art bag were unzipped.

I went up to Tom's, and he's still at school (i knew he would be). I started crying to Rod, who found me the phone book, and I called the police department. I called Tom, and he came home right away. The police department would call me back (they didn't). Apparently I'm not the first to get hit, and I found out later that I wasn't even the only one that got hit recently. I'm trying to stay calm, but it's hard when my heart keeps screaming. I know that it was only stuff, and I'm not really sad about the GPS, but not only to I feel violated, but that camera meant a lot to me. It was my grandma's. Plus, I love taking pictures (I didn't use the SLR too often, because of the film) and now I have lost my quality photos. I know I will probably never see it again, which caused me to look for a replacement. I will not personally be replacing it anytime soon, it's a bit out of my price range, which makes my heart hurt more. I know this sounds really materialistic of me, but taking pictures is about capturing a moment to me, and it feels like I won't be able to capture moments without it.

But yeah...that was my day.

The Zero Theory

I shouldn't have gotten very good sleep last night. I was sleeping in a bed that wasn't mine, there was a dog that barked at raccoons outside the window sleeping on the bed, and two cats constantly fighting. I should have slept like crap, and I was in fact aware of all that was going on when there was a sudden noise, but I slept fine. I woke up feeling fine, I even got up and did all of my chores.

So, how did I do it?

I just...kind of went to "0". My entire body didn't move, all my muscles stayed relaxed, I kept my breathing at a sleeping pace, and I made my brain go dead. This is how I often get myself to sleep. The difference? Whenever the dog barked, or the cats fight, I would let my brain wake up and ask "What was that?" and I would answer, but I wouldn't move anything. I kept the rest of my body completely relaxed, not moving, and I didn't let my brain do anything that would require effort. I woke up over 12 hours ago, with not very good sleep, and I'm only just getting tired. I'm hoping I can do this again, because if I can, I might be able to get a whole lot more sleep.

Ah the joys of not Blogging

So, yesterday (yesterday being Saturday) I had an insane urge that I had to blog. I felt like "Okay, I updated my blog, I decided to come back, and now I actually have to blog!" and then I sat at my computer, and couldn't think of anything to type. I don't just mean "Well, I could write about this but I don't want to" I mean serious, pain in the ass, writer's block kind of "don't know what to type."

And then, I had a realization. This blog is for me, it is for my purposes, if I don't want to blog, then to hell with it, I won't. It certainly makes my life less stressful. This is my place to talk about what I want, to figure stuff out about me, the world, anything. If there is a day where I don't want to figure anything out, then there will be days where I don't want to figure anything out...and that's just fine with me.